what will tomorrow bring?

I'm tryna get up, but I don't know how

I'm M.I.A., no one ever seems to know where I be at

They on my ass, I don't do much, I smile at her and I just laugh

They always mad, so I just brush it off and act like I can't help it

After everything that happened, how come I cannot be selfish?

I swear

what does it mean to feel, to dream, to wonder, to have those desires created by the vestiges of your mind, to one day believe that everything is going to work out, and then suddenly, reality hits, and it all comes crumbling down

is it a crime to dream? againts the law to feel joy and happiness? what is the point of feeling all these things if all that is left at the end of the tunnel is despair and agony?

is it better to simple remain mute and neutral to the world's endeavors - as it tries to tear you down, you simple stay solid and unmoving in the midst of everything that is out of your control.

but,

is there a point to a life like this?

when you fall down down, why do you decide to rise again? what do you think will happen after countless failures?

will you change a a person? grow more bitter, grow more resilient, grow even more attached to the dream you have been chasing this whole time?

its all these questions that keep me up at night, wondering and lamenting about all the times that went wrong, all the times i chose to stand down, all the people i've let fall out of my life because i lacked the courage to tell them how much they mean to me

in these fleeting moments of isolation, i still trudged on - not knowing exactly what i was looking for, but feeling the gut sensations that i had to keep moving forward.

i still don't know what lies at the end of the journey for me, but know i feel as though the journey is the whole point of this, not the endpoint.

i wonder what tomorrow will bring for me?